Author: beautifullyblessed6

Bathroom

Took some steps on my own with walker and two PT/OT people. My goal was the bathroom..,, so close but yet SO FAR AWAY 🤪 I almost made it. Sadly they said still not safe or strong enough to do it but progress is progress. Here’s where I want to go tomorrow….. the bathroom…. it’s so close…… referral sent for rehab. They said usually 7-14 days….. feels like an eternity still before I can go home….. please keep praying. I need them and so does my family.

My day surgery with potential one overnight has turned into such a nightmare. I am so tired and so desperately want to be home. I know that He is here with me but I just want to go home. Just want to take a shower…. Just want to hug and love in my family.

I don’t own this song or the lyrics…. But they speak so deeply to me.

Yes I will, lift You high in the lowest valley
Yes I will, bless Your name
Oh, yes I will, sing for joy when my heart is heavy
All my days, oh yes I willI count on one thing
The same God that never fails
Will not fail me now
You won’t fail me now
In the waiting
The same God who’s never late
Is working all things out
Is working all things out

My sweet Paisley

This is so devastating to be away from my kids. To have no end on site of when I can go home to them. To have no idea what being at home will look like when I finally get to go….. but I am so thankful for technology, for the ability to “play” with my girl through the phone….. so so fun!

You Define Me

Have you heard this amazing song by Kin Walker Smith? It is such a reminder of who we are in Him…. This 🌎 doesn’t define us, He does. What the doctors are saying? Doesn’t define me! Doesn’t define you! He does….. Let these words wash over you and sink into the depth of who you are…. HE defines you!!!!

I do not own these lyrics….

No whisper can accuse
No rumor can undo
The words You speak, over me
No lie can ever break
No shame can ever steal
The words You speak, over me
You’re speaking over meOnly Your words define me
You tell me who I am
Only Your love can hold me
You make me who I am
You define me, You define meThe author of my days
You’re writing every page
With blood and scars, You heal my heart
Oh, You heal my heartOnly Your words define me
You tell me who I am
Only Your love can hold me
You make me who I am
You define me, You define meNo fear can hold me hostage
No lie can keep me bound
My God has the final word
My God has the final word
No fear can hold me hostage
No lie can keep me bound
My God has the final word
My God has the final wordOnly Your words define me
You tell me who I am
Only Your love can hold me
You make me who I am
Only Your words define me
You tell me who I am
Only Your love can hold me
You make me who I am
You define me, You define me
You define me, You define me
You define me

My God is Bigger!

Things are going so slowly. I am here waiting and believing for a miracle. Waiting for God to give me my strength and sensation back. Waiting for the doctors to come in and be shocked at my God performing this miraculous healing.

I know that all of this will be ok. I know that I am still God’s child, and that He will care for me no matter what. But I want to know that I will walk again, that I will be able to write again, that I will cook, and drive and snuggle with my babies…. I want all of this so much.

But GOD

Guys yesterday I couldn’t move! Left side pointer finger and left side big toe was all I could move if I concentrated super hard and worked hard. BUT GOD!!!! Look at this!!!! I am claiming for a miracle healing overnight! I NEED to be home with my family! My God is able! He can do exceedingly abundantly about all that we ask. And tonight I am watching it happen with my own eyes! I will eventually share more of this week as I wrap my brain around the trauma and emotion and loss of control. Since I couldn’t move I was listening to elevation worship almost continuously except when sick and headache. The song about seeing a victory And God Never failing was basically on repeat …… this guys! This is what My God did this evening! Agree with me pray with me, God can do this!!!!

When we get into these hard places it is so incredibly important to continue to focus on Him, He has already won the battle that we are in. He already knows the outcome, He already has each breath planned out. I know that right now I am hurting, and overwhelmed and a little bit scared. I don’t know how this all plays out. But you know Who does? My God! I know that I know that I know that we will be ok. God will take care of us regardless of how this plays out.

Up in a chair!
Moving my hand!!!! God is so so good!

FriendS

I am so incredibly grateful for the friends my God has given me. My sweet friend Chantal flew down the night before surgery with the plan that she would take care of me for those first few days at home. Sadly she is at my house and I am here. This is our pre-surgery picture

This is the post that Chantal wrote on Facebook tonight:

Certainly not the week we thought we would have when we took this “pre pic”.
With all this “rain” I know your rainbow 🌈 will be bright and worth it!!!
You have got this and I might not be close still but I am always here!!!! Positive mindset and lots of prayer!!

Friends forever

This girl of mine who has been with me through all of life’s challenges since we were thirteen flew down to be my own personal nurse. Obviously, once they started realizing all the significant deficits that I have post operatively, it was made apparent that I wasn’t headed home as much as I wanted it. This girl came up here and took care of me, washed me, brushed out my hair (dear Lord I am going to need some HELP with my hair), helped me move and repositon, kmade sure was stretching moving and flexing all the things I can’t move on my own. There are no skin issues, no sores, no foot drop…. I was so disappointed that we didn’t get our “girls movie night” at my house. When she left the hospital last night I was still unable to do do just about everything, and she has since said she felt so guilty leaving me. Tonight we faced timed and I showed her my miracle movement, and we ugly cried together. I am praising God for so much tonight.

My husband….

This update won’t be all inclusive as I am only able to use my right hand but I just have to share a little about this week. Sadly after my “day” surgery I have developed left sided weakness and am unable to use my left side. I can’t begin to tell you what a humbling experience it is to not be able to rollover sit up, go to a toilet, brush my hair,etc by yourself. But guys my husband was truly my night in shining armor this week. I don’t think I have wrapped my brain around this being the way things are right now…. but the first night? Was the worst night of my life. Terrifying to say the least. And Matthew was amazing. Constantly caring and supporting me. I am sure I wasn’t nice or appreciative as I should have been. I still can’t believe that he had to wash my face for me or move my pillows or help me move my hips….. but this guy? Totally showed up and showed me that God is still in control of my body and extremities even if it is through others. Thank you will never be enough for what and how you have loved me during this scary week. I know that God has big plans and that the waiting is hard but we will get there. #Godisbigger #Godsgotthis
https://youtu.be/Cd6J6Wgnv4M

Trying to be Joyful

Trying to be joyful in the journey is certainly a little rough today. Still not functioning like I need to….. so very thankful for lots of love, support, prayers and knowledge from so many. The way this has gone is so unexpected. I never ever thought that this was even a possibility. I knew I would have some pain, knew I would not be able to lift some things, and struggle with neck movement for a little while. I never ever thought I would lose the function of my left side, never thought I wouldn’t be able to brush my hair or teeth, never thought I wouldn’t be able to see my kids for an unknown period of time. Social media can be a detriment but right now for me the messages people have been sending have been such a blessing….

. #Godsgotthis #Godisbigger

Not the way I had planned

Unfortunately I did not head home yesterday as I had hoped. After surgery I began vomiting wind subsequently lost feeling and sensation in my left side. Currently I am I unable to move my left side, unable to sit up unassisted, unable to stand. Surgeon is unsure of what is going on. But my God knows and He is with me in this battle.