Trying to find my calling

We all know that God calls us. We don’t all know what He calls us to do…. I have struggled so often with this. God what is it that you want me to do. How can I love your people like you want me to. How can I be your hands and feet extended? And as I am seeking His will, I am shown the day to day, the seemingly small interactions with people are a part of my ministry and yours too.

God places people in our path every day that need Him! EVERY DAY! You can change a life EVERY DAY! By being His hands! Giving someone a hug, reaching out and serving someone who is weak or sick. Paying for the person’s coffee, baysitting for that young mom who has no one else. Telling someone that they look nice, thanking someone for their kindness or hard work. We have so many opportunities. I have been seeking His will and His direction, and He has been directing it all along.

Now I am not saying that there isn’t more. That He doesn’t have something else, but I am just saying that as you are seeking and desiring His will, use each step along the journey.

I am really excited to be able to take a journey with a Christian counseling center for pregnant women. I have been feeling his call for me to serve here for a while now. I just didn’t know how I could financially pay for the class to become able to counsel these girls. You know what happened? My small group leader Yvonne mentioned how she knew that God was calling me into ministry she just hadn’t had confirmation about where yet. And then I mentioned Grace Connection to my small group leader at church. And she said that they would pay! WOW GOD!!!! I was blown away. I didn’t even think to ask God to send someone to pay for this. But God in the midst of my desire sent the right person to talk to me about serving.

This weekend was supposed to be a weekend away with our church family. But my kids have the flu. Matt took my oldest and youngest and I stayed home with Preston and Sophia since they have the flu. I was tired. I was worried. When Sophia’s temperature hit 105.4 I was scared. BUT GOD! My mom came, my friends and family were praying, and today this morning both Preston and Sophia are no longer out of it, are no longer running fevers, and are playful and happy.

I was so disappointed to not go away this weekend. But staying home has allowed me to listen to church on line. My home church in Winchendon Massachusetts has a new pastor, And he is wonderful. I don’t often get to listen to his services, but my desire is that I can make the time each week to listen to it moving forward in 2018.

Today my prayer for you and for me is that you begin to realize that yes God has called you and He has an amazing plan for your life. But that He also has amazing plans for every step of the way. God’s got you, ALWAYS

GOD BLESS!!!!

Battles and Blessings

This walk, this journey, is full of battles and blessings. My scripture reading for today discussed this topical thoroughly. “When we are in the battle it is hard to believe that it will ever come to an end. When we are in a period of blessing we sometimes expect it to go on forever. But life is not like that. There are battles and blessings.”

Proverbs 1:1-7 gives us wisdom for daily living. Joyce Meyer says, that wisdom “is choosing to do now what you will be happy with later on” Wisdom is the fear of the Lord, wisdom is to respect and honor Him. If we honor Him daily, with reverence, if we seek His wisdom and guidance, we will be blessed by His presence in every aspect of our lives, whether we are in a period of battle or a period of blessing.

Sometimes as a mom of 4 children every day life can feel overwhelming, and like a battle. The days when there is lots of whining, or when kids are sick and feeling terrible, when they are short with one another and not getting along. Or when your to do list seems miles long, and your days to do it are just too short. Today was one of those days for me. We are originally from Massachusetts but since we have moved south we are in a area where snow causes everything to shut down. My kids had school cancelled for today and tomorrow, there isn’t even an inch of snow that fell. And therein lies my problem, my battle….. I have so much to do and now am unable to. The kids are home and I absolutely love having the time with them, to do puzzles and games and play…. but that eradicates any time to do my mile long to do list.

Tonight as I did my little Sassy’s infusion, I was reminded that God is with us in all of lifes battles. Some days my sweet 4year old doesn’t mind those needles and some days I am the meanest mom ever for doing it to her. A little snuggle, a little singing and a little Doc McStuffins made this all better.

Battles are always going to come, but God will prevail throughout it all. Be blessed!!!

Walking

Lets face it, I am a tired mama. I have four kids, I am a nurse who works night shift. I sleep in approximately 4 hour increments. I am tired. I feel like I am on that perpetual hamster wheel….. you run and you run and you run. You get some things accomplished but not necessarily all that you were hoping to. Yesterday my intention was to fold all the laundry, my sweet Sassy decided that she needed a fort, she needed a blankie for her baby. And Bug decided that he needed to snuggle. So the laundry it is still waiting…. and waiting…. and waiting….. My kids went back to school yesterday after Christmas break, and I thought that there might be that down time that I so desperately want. Yeah right! There is always something right? Oh gosh do I love these four. I feel as though I don’t really want to put all their info out there… so my babies will be SS, Beautiful, Bug, and Sassy.

Todays scripture readings discuss walking with God. Walking in close companionship, developing the type of relationship that allows constant contact/conversation with our Creator.

And then there is that thing called exercise. And we all know that we should do it. We all know how important it is. We all know that it would make us feel so much better. But why then is it so hard to get started? What about walking? What if we could plan to meet with our friend every day for 20 minutes and catch up? Vent? Share hopes and dreams with? What if the plan was a 20 minute power walk with a dear friend? God wants to be that dear friend. He wants us to walk with Him in all of our daily life. He wants us to share our hopes and dreams, fears and failures. Noah “walked with God” and he communicated so deeply with Him. “Walking with God” is how we were intended to live. (Micah 6:8) says that we should walk humbly with him. We should be speaking with him like he is our best friend walking right along side us. He wants to be the one to carry our burdens, rejoice in our triumphs, sustain us in our exhaustion. Let’s aim to walk with Him daily, to keep Him close and to speak with Him as our constant companion.

Bible in a Year

In the past I have read through the Bible in a year, but since I have become a mom it has been such a challenge for me. And I hate to admit it. This stage of life is where I need to be in His word the most. My prayer is that this year is the year that I will be able to stay focused and stay in His Word. Life is so busy, we find ourselves stretched so thin, and yet the one thing that could right the chaos, calm the storm, and strengthen the weary is the one thing that I sadly struggle with…… so here I am, admitting that the daily struggle of reading His Word is coming to an end. This year (and hopefully forever) I am making His Word my priority. His Word the first thing, and the last thing of every day. I love speaking to Him, praising Him through song, but I really struggle consistently with reading through the Word in one year.

I found a plan that has you read a portion in the old testament, the new testament and Psalms each day. So here we are our scripture reading for today Psalm 2:1-12….. “….blessed are all who take refuge in him.” When I think of taking refuge it would appear that this means to rest in Him, allow comfort to flow from his hands throughout our souls. Focusing on His word is a part of allowing our own vulnerability and brokenness to be healed.

Matthew 2:1-18 Is all about Jesus’s birth and coming to fulfill the prophecy. His birth began the final process of what had been stated in the old testament about His birth. AMAZING

Genesis 2:18-4:16 God’s creation has given to mankind absolutely everything that is needed, and more often then that it is more than what is requested. The whole universe created by God was created to give us joy.

So where does that put me, this exhausted busy momma? It puts me right where he wants me to be. By allowing these words/truths to sink into the very depths of my soul, it enables me to be a better mom, a better spouse, a better friend. May 2018 continue to be a year of growth in Him. Be blessed!!!

A New Beginning

Here we are in a new year. A year in which we have a clean slate. A year in which we can develop “new years resolutions” but in all actuality when you think about God we get the chance to start over EVERY TIME we mess up. God forgives us again and again. He never gives up on us. Never denies us His forgiveness. How amazing is that? When you think about it, He just will keep on loving us, no matter how many times we fall. No matter how many times we give up. He is still there patiently lovingly waiting for us to try again.

This year my hope and my prayer is that this is my best year yet, in my relationship with Him, that I can so completely fall in love with Him that no matter who I come in contact with, that they will sense Him in me. My prayer this year is that throughout every circumstance that the focus will always be on Him.

I so often times find myself just amazed at my life and amazed at God’s constant provision in seemingly shocking ways. This life, this journey of mothering four children, three with chronic illness, being a nurse, being a wife, and trying to raise a family in the way God has called me to can be overwhelming. Can be challenging, but in every way can be beautiful. This life, this journey, with all it’s twist and turns is a blessing. Start to finish, a blessing. And I am so very thankful that God has called me to be on it. I am so thankful that He has taken the wheel, and I am along for the beautiful ride.

First blog post (AGAIN)

Hi welcome to my blog. I have written before and love it. Life often gets busy and things fall by the way side and that is what has happened with my blogging….. That being said I here to start fresh. To document the incredible blessings God has given me. To document our triumphs and our struggles, but mostly to document how God is with us through all of life.

A little about our family…. I am an RN working in a pediatric acute care setting. Often people say things to me about how “It’s a good thing your a nurse, so you can handle your own kids.” And I have often pondered that statement. And come to the conclusion that this plan was orchestrated long before I had my kids. Long before all the medical that is our life. Long before my dream of having a healthy happy baby was changed. God gave me this burning desire to care for and comfort others and I am so thankful that he did.

My husband, a truly hard working man dedicated to doing his best in all of his efforts, A hard worker, a compassionate individual who strives for perfection in all of his projects. Currently he is a tower climber and climbs towers all over the east coast. It’s terrifying to me to even think about it. But just as I have had to trust my kids into God’s hands I also have to trust him with my husband.

Our oldest is 11 years old. We were over the moon excited when we found out we were expecting him. Our pregnance was filled with complication after complication. The physicians did not think that our sweet boy would be born alive. And so we decided to find out his gender. And when we did we needed him to have a name that signified what God had planned. And so he is named **********. Meaning SHELTER FROM THE STORM; GOD HAS HEARD. And he certainly has. But here he will be know as BIG BOY and he has an immune deficiency, a bleeding disorder, and eosinophilic colitis. But you you would never know it to look at him. He is thriving in middle school, loving playing trumpet And generally just a really great kid.

Next came our sweet first girl. This sweet girl was born via emergency C-section and was also premature. I will never forget the sound of her screams in the delivery room. The joy I felt and the amazing love as I heard and saw her for the first time still brings tears to my eyes. Her birth was so amazing. In the midst of my dad having a massive heart attack and my family being unable to be with us as we welcomed into the world, God just gave us this perfect sweet baby girl who was feisty and full of life. Sweet Pea is a sweet girl who loves all things girly, but also is so active, loves being outside, playing with her friends and more recently absolutely loves singing. She has this angelic voice that blesses me so much. I am so thrilled to hear her sing. Sweet Pea is also know as “the healthy one”. She is our child who is not immunocompromised, and she is happy to share that info with everyone.

Our third sweet miracle is a boy, he was lovingly called Baby Surprise while in utero. This handsome boy was also born prematurely and has had many many medical issues. He like his brother has been diagnosed with an immune deficiency, but he seems to be much sicker than Sam has been. He has had numerous numerous admissions, and when he does get sick it takes him months typically to recover. But this sweet little guy is the most loving snuggle bug you will ever meet. He has a knack for knowing when to give someone a hug, and tell them something that blesses their heart. He has a desire to comfort those who are hurting and he is always willing. He loves to sing, to play with legos, to snuggle and to read. We will call him BUG

And finally our sweet Sassy, we like to call her “our grand finale.” She is our baby. Also very feisty like her sister. But unlike Sweet Pea she also has been diagnosed with the immune deficiency. She isn’t quite as affected as her brothers, and although she tends to get sick a lot she typically bounces back quickly without complications. This little lady loves animals and baby dolls. She loves running and jumping and playing on her bouncy ball. Sassy is the perfect name for this sweet girl as she is Sassy as sassy can be.

This is our family, and we truly are so blessed. We hope you enjoy the journey with us. My hope in this blog is to encourage others who like me who have multiple young children, who work outside of the home and within, who have chronically ill children, who sometimes get overwhelmed in the process of this life, who know God is with them on this journey.