Friendship

Today on Easter I am reminded of how amazing our God is! When I think of the cross and what He did for me there is nothing I can do but rejoice! No matter our situations, no matter our trials, the trials we are in today mean nothing. There is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING in the entire world that can change WHO He is and WHAT He has done! Stay focused and keep taking steps towards Him so He can take your life wherever He wants to.

I am still so surprised at the path that I am on. But as we celebrate the incredible gift of eternity that Jesus blessed us with,I am again reminded of His love for us. He loves us so big, and we don’t need to look hard to find the ways. This beauty is one of my dearest friends. I am so blessed and so thankful to have such amazing women in my life. My plan was to be home this week…. But my timing is not His timing so I will enjoy the moments of joy and sunshine in this valley. Thank you for being willing to spend Easter with my family instead of yours, for being willing to juggle all the things this week and for loving us so big.

A surprise

The night before my surgery my sweet Paisley asked if I could still hug her the day after my surgery. And I said “of course, maybe not tomorrow but the next day for sure.” My surgery was March 23rd and here it is April 2nd and I haven’t seen my babies once. Because of COVID-19 the kids aren’t allowed to be in the hospital. Today my husband came to visit and brought me outside for some fresh air. He surprised me with my sweet kids. It did my heart so good to spend these precious moments with my kids

My little Preston didn’t want to let go. I wanted to hug him so badly with both arms.

It just feels so amazing to have them with me

My sweet Paisley

This is so devastating to be away from my kids. To have no end on site of when I can go home to them. To have no idea what being at home will look like when I finally get to go….. but I am so thankful for technology, for the ability to “play” with my girl through the phone….. so so fun!

FriendS

I am so incredibly grateful for the friends my God has given me. My sweet friend Chantal flew down the night before surgery with the plan that she would take care of me for those first few days at home. Sadly she is at my house and I am here. This is our pre-surgery picture

This is the post that Chantal wrote on Facebook tonight:

Certainly not the week we thought we would have when we took this “pre pic”.
With all this “rain” I know your rainbow 🌈 will be bright and worth it!!!
You have got this and I might not be close still but I am always here!!!! Positive mindset and lots of prayer!!

This girl of mine who has been with me through all of life’s challenges since we were thirteen flew down to be my own personal nurse. Obviously, once they started realizing all the significant deficits that I have post operatively, it was made apparent that I wasn’t headed home as much as I wanted it. This girl came up here and took care of me, washed me, brushed out my hair (dear Lord I am going to need some HELP with my hair), helped me move and repositon, kmade sure was stretching moving and flexing all the things I can’t move on my own. There are no skin issues, no sores, no foot drop…. I was so disappointed that we didn’t get our “girls movie night” at my house. When she left the hospital last night I was still unable to do do just about everything, and she has since said she felt so guilty leaving me. Tonight we faced timed and I showed her my miracle movement, and we ugly cried together. I am praising God for so much tonight.

A trip to the Beach

Not enough…

You have a roof over your head, right?

But it’s not enough. You want something bigger, newer, fancier

You have a job?

But it’s not enough. You want more money, more appreciation. To be better fulfilled.

You’re alive?

But it’s not enough. You want to be thinner? Bigger? Stronger? Prettier? More handsome?

You have a vehicle that gets you from point A to point B?

But it’s not enough. You want newer, fancier, faster.

You have a spouse?

But it’s not enough. You want him/her to love you more. Appreciate you more. Encourage and support you more?

You live in a democracy with more freedom than many people in most of the world.

But it’s not enough. You want a different government. A different set of laws. You want more freedom for things you want, and less freedom for the things others want.

You have the option to hear His Word and learn more about the Lord….

But it’s not enough…. there are too many gossips at the church so you don’t want to go there. You want to sleep in on the weekend. You can’t understand the Bible easily.

You could have no job, no spouse, no home, no children, no car, no food, no freedom to worship. I think sometimes we get caught up with always wanting more. Wanting more blessings. But God is MORE! He has given and blessed us so much, but maybe the things we are struggling with desiring are growing us to a new place. Drawing us closer to Him. Sure it is ok to ask God for things, but are you also thanking Him? Praising Him? He gave you eternity with Him! That is beyond the greatest worldly desire you have.

Guys! We are so so blessed! God has poured into us so much. I myself have struggled these last weeks with the craziness of politics. The uncertainty of the future. And as I became overwhelmed I was reminded… God is more than enough! My salvation? More than enough blessing that I don’t deserve.

More than enough in my home, in my marriage, in the lives of my family and friends.

More than enough in my job, in my friends, in the health of my family.

More than enough in my country. More than enough in the uncertainty of my country. More than enough in the government. More than enough for yesterday, today, and tomorrow. I don’t know what tomorrow holds but I know WHO holds tomorrow. Lean into Him, lean into His Word. He knows each need, each fear, each desire. Let Him in to those places of uncertainty, disappointment, sadness and fear. He wants ALL of it, let Him take it from you, let Him carry you through. He is more than enough! Let Him come to you

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aIdZ5KRiakM&feature=share

#SaveTheBabies

As a child I dreamed of growing up and becoming a nurse, of becoming a mom. In my career as a nurse I have worked in the pediatric population mostly, but have also done labor and delivery, mother baby, nursery and some special care. What a privilege it has been to be a part of the first moments of life on earth. 2020 has taken so much joy out of caring for people. And oh am I tired. But this week as I was feeling defeated with the incredible hatred and selfishness in our world, God gently reminded me that He came for all of us. Even those people that are hurting my soul. He reminded me that I needed to worship through the storm. And so the other morning as I left work I just began to pray and sing at the top of my lungs. Thanking God for allowing me to be here, for the opportunities that I have to love on ALL of God’s people. And throughout the day yesterday I kept hearing that I was created for such a time as this…..

Last night as Judge Amy became Justice Amy I realized again how we are chosen for these days, these moments. That our purpose is great! That His calling on our life is incredible and that we often don’t know where following His lead will take us. I am praying for Justice Amy and her family. For a hedge of protection around her and all her loved ones. That God will use her to change this world for His glory!

Oh my goodness guys! There is nothing more incredible than leading someone to Christ! It is such an amazing privilege. I have been asking God to give me boldness, compassion and wisdom to be able to lead anyone that I come in contact with to Him. Imagine my joy last night when my sweet 7 year old came and asked me to talk to her about it and then asked me to help her ask Jesus into her heart!!!!! Guys! What an amazing gift He gave me last night. Praying the salvation prayer with my sweet PJ! I am just giddy with excitement and joy of knowing that she has chosen Him forever 😍 Joy unspeakable joy!!!!

Thanking God for saving the babies!

This sweet baby gave her heart to Jesus last night

Rejoice

Happy Easter! Rejoicing in His love for us, and that He sent His son so that we would one day be with Him! Can you even imagine? Can you imagine sending your only child knowing what would happen to him? Knowing the severe pain and agony he would experience? Can you imaging watching it happen? Watching your child cry out, and not being allowed to stop it? I cannot even begin to fathom it. I can’t understand how He could love ME (and YOU) so much that He would sacrifice His only son for us! I am eternally grateful. My prayer is that you truly feel and experience the incredible love that He has for you! Happy Easter from our family to yours!!!!

AMAZED

I literally am blown away right now. I can’t even begin to explain to you how God has shown up over and over again here lately. It has felt like Satan has been attacking our family and friends nearly continuously in the last few weeks. There has been illnesses, financial crisis, family crisis, housing issues, job issues, school issues and so many things.

And all I can say is WOW BUT GOD….. in every situation. We were told that we needed to get out of our rental house, and there literally was a major issue with our credit, it is hard to stay on top of the medical bills when there are thousands upon thousands of dollars……. and then my credit score went up more than a 100 points.

There was NOTHING in our area that would allow our kids to remain in the same school system that they are currently in, that was within our price range….. And then a house that Matt had been interested in a while back, that had a pending offer on it, fell through and came back on the market……

Matt’s dad had the “widowmaker” heart attack! But God miraculously saved him. He spent nearly a week in the ICU, but is now home and recovering. My husband was able to be up there for the last week and support his parents, and his brother Tim was able to get there too….

While Matt has been gone over the last week Sam began running a fever of up to 105.7 and was diagnosed with flu. As you can imagine caring for four HEALTHY kids would be a challenge without a spouse, but sick kids, while working?. But God provided aunts, grandparents, friends etc to help through all of this.

With Matt being gone, I was concerned with inspection and things at the house we are interested in….. two wonderful men came out to the house we are buying and went along with the inspector, as well as measured rooms and commited to helping get the physical work done that needs to be done in the new house.

I literally have been overwhelmed, and exhausted. Wishing I could be with my father in law and lay my eyes on him and kiss his face, wishing that I could be physically helping him but being unable…… Working extra shifts, and sleeping less trying to be a single parent while Matt is gone, dealing with all of the illness, dealing with house showings for the current house we are in. Dealing with friends and family that are going through crisis…… I have been feeling like I got run over by a truck. But literally God is carrying me through. And wow is he sending HIS people to help me during this time.

I can’t share all the details but God has made provisions for us financially that are truly miraculous. I find myself shaking my head, as I think about how He has blessed us in this last month. Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely wish that the medical debt would miraculously disappear, but for now my God has opened the door to a brand new start. There has been an incredible fundraiser hosted by our church, and a loan that we never could have dreamed we would have gotten, and a gift that has brought me to tears, to help with the closing costs.

And then there is all of the childcare assistance. Not only has our sitter been willing to care for our kids during normal circumstances, she has also come when they have had the flu, when we needed her overnight, when we needed them transported somewhere etc. These lovely ladies are such a blessing. And then we have had numerous friends that have helped care for the kids. This weekend I am working all weekend and Matt will remain in massaschusetts with his parents. And the village that God has given me is loving on my kids all weekend while I am working. They are all looking forward to sleep overs and fun all weekend.

This last week has been incredibly hard, but also such an eye opening experience, God has shown up EVERYWHERE! If you are struggling know He is there, and though the struggles come, sometimes mountains of them, take a step back and look at all He has done in the process. BE BLESSED. Know that He is walking right along side you, and when you get to the point where you feel as though you cannot possibly take another step, it is then that He shows you His glorious provision in every aspect of your life

2019

Happy New Year! A new year filled with promise, filled with hope. A year with such potential. I have so very much to be thankful for. It is so often we get caught up in the mundane day to day life of being a parent, of being a spouse, of being a worker….. we get caught up in the laundry, and the cleaning, the homework, and the cooking. We get stuck underneath the overwhelming daunting to do lists. I am right there with you. This last year has been a tremendous struggle for me.

My husband was injured in January and was out of work….. the financial repercussions of that are still being felt in our family. My children’s medical issues, fluctuated throughout the year, leading to new doctors visits, a surgery and different and more time consuming medical care. The financial burden led me to getting another job in which I was working more than 60 hours a week. The pace was incredibly overwhelming and exhausting, not to mention missing my kids growing.

This last year, there were many tragedies, much heartbreak, and incredible sadness felt by people I care about. But you know what else there was? Incredible joy, God’s provision for WHATEVER was needed, laughter, adventures, lots and lots of snuggles with my babies and so much more.

2018 will go down as a trying year, but it will also go down as a year, where God showed up whenever we allowed Him to. He provided whatever was needed whenever it was needed. And I am eternally grateful.

I am not sure what 2019 will bring for certain. But I do know that God will walk through it with me, and that if I allow Him, He will carry the burden. My hope in 2019 is to be a stronger woman of faith, the wife that God has called me to be, the mother that God has called me to be, and the friend/sister/daughter/Christian God has called me to be.

If you have a need, and you would like prayer please feel free to share this with me, and I will get praying. God moves mountains!!!! You are NOT ALONE