Sunshine, sand and friendship

I have always been blessed with amazing friends. Friends that I can call on at any moment, to pray with, laugh with, and encourage. Friends who help grow me as a Christian, as a mom, as a wife, as a nurse, and as a person. The biggest thing I was worried about when we left Massachusetts was that I wouldn’t be able to have friends the way I had up north. I didn’t know if I would be able to connect heart to heart with new people.

But as usual God blessed me beyond measure. I am so thankful for my friends. For the opportunity to learn about God and being wives, and mothers together. I am so so blessed. These ladies are my life line in this life. The joy and laughter they have brought to us is indescribable. . The encouragement and prayer times are incredible . It is more than I could ask for. They are truly my sisters.

Not Enough

I have been struggling a lot here lately. Feeling as though I am not enough. Not enough mom, not enough wife, not enough nurse, not enough friend, not enough follower of Christ, quite simply just NOT ENOUGH. I get in these funks when my kids are sick, or when the bills are overwhelming, or when my friends are hurting and I don’t know what to do, or when I am struggling with my marriage, or with my children.

And I know without a shadow of a doubt that yes, it is true on my own I am not enough, but with God I am more than enough. So often this world has us comparing ourselves, wishing we had what others had. Wondering why our children are sick, or our finances are short, or why our marriage is in such a bad place, or why our jobs aren’t fulfilling us. But in each circumstance God has given us such grace such power such strength such love to get through.

You my friend are enough! You are more than enough! In God you have all you need. Don’t compare yourself. Don’t desire (as hard as it is) for what others have. God has blessed you tremendously!

I had a friend recently tell me “why are you so happy with all that you have going on?” And I got to thinking about it. Why? Because GOD! HE is my reason, He is my reason for life, for love, for joy, for peace, for perseverance, for strength. He is my reason for hope, He is my reason to keep on fighting this fight.

Yes there are days where I can let myself feel so overwhelmed and so defeated, but then God gently and lovingly lifts me up, brushes me off, and holds my hand as we move forward.

My Sam had surgery about a week and a half ago. And the night before surgery I was in a really rough place. I was exhausted and worried. Frustrated and angry. It is easy to get there, when you see your kids have chronic illness, and you wonder about how the surgery will go and how the days after will be….. But God in all His wonder and glory always brings me right back to where I need to be. WITH HIM. I don’t know if you know the singer Laura Story, but if you don’t, I highly recommend her song “Blessings.” The lines of this song meet me right where I am at. Sure sometimes we want to question why things happen and why us. This song speaks to that.

We are loving summer. Loving being home and not quite as much crazy chaos. Loving the extra snuggles. Loving family time and movies. I pray that you are too! Be blessed!!!

My Sweet Sophia Grace

he day of your birth 10 years ago was one of such anxiety but also incredible beauty. You see I had already been in the hospital for several days by your birthday. I had been being monitored because of my liver as well as my blood pressure. That morning they had taken blood and noticed that my liver wasn’t functioning as it should, and they determined that I would have to have an emergency C-section that day, as you were also facing the wrong way, trying to come out feet first. I remember being so scared. I tried to call Meme’ but there was no answer. I then called grandpa, auntie Denise, Uncle DJ Uncle Dennis and Auntie Doreen. But no one was answering the phone! I was getting so upset because I needed to tell them you were coming.

What I didn’t know was that at that very time your grandpa was having a heart attack and that everyone was avoiding my phone calls so that they didn’t have to tell me. They were protecting me from something that there was nothing that I could do to help. And so we called your auntie TeeTee to see if she could take Sam so that Daddy could come in the delivery room with me. I remember weeping for joy when you came out. You were the most beautiful baby I had ever seen. You had these beautiful chocolatey eyes and these perfect little pouty lips. You were seriously the most perfect gorgeous baby I had ever seen. And when you cried immediately after birth it truly was one of the most amazing days of my life. I was laying there waiting to hear you cry and you did. It was amazing!

And now you, my gorgeous girl are ten! I cannot even fathom that time is flying so quickly by. I look at the resilience you have, your zeal for life, the way you allow people to see your heart, your courage and energy and I cannot believe that you are mine. You have been such a blessing to me. I am so enjoying watching you grow up into the woman God wants you to be. My prayer is that 10 is a year in which you become so close to God and His will for your life. That you realize the incredible blessing and gift that you are. And that you know how much I love you!!!! Happy birthday BEAUTIFUL sweet compassionate creative smart hard working dedicated and talented little lady!!!! KODAK Digital Still Camera

Waiting on God in the trials

ave you ever read the whole story of Job? Have you ever really thought about what he went through? All of the suffering? I have recently been reading Job with my bible in one year reading plan. And wow I can’t really wrap my head around it.

People in the past have made comments about praying for healing for my children, or for financial provision or countless other things. My husband and I have recently had a disagreement financially about God’s provision. We tithe as we are supposed to, and he is feeling frustrated as our finances are so precarious. But I feel as though we don’t have to stress about it. Our credit scores, and our bank accounts have no eternal value. We have NEVER EVER EVER needed something that God didn’t provide for us. He always meets the need. We may not understand His answer or His plan, but His plan is much better than anything I could come up with.

My children’s illness has strengthened my faith so much. I certainly wish that they didn’t have to go through all of the struggles that they do. But on the flip side of that, I have really truly met God in my heartbreak and He has really truly supported me in times of need. I can’t say without a doubt that I didn’t have to beg Him for mercy and for healing in the lives of my children that I would fully grasp His incredible love and peace that passes all understanding. And I am not willing to give that up. And as my children have grown up with so many struggles, they too have developed a deeper relationship with the One who has created us. They have faith and they know that God is their friend, not just some unobtainable thing that people talk about it. And that truly is the most important thing ever. So yes I hate the struggles that we face, absolutely, but in those struggles we come face to face with the one who has promised to sustain us, to carry us and to meet us where we are and He does.

Several years ago as I was in Boston Children’s for a lengthy admission with my oldest son I head the song from Laura Story “Blessing.” And wow did that speak to my broken heart. And these day to day things are truly blessings, teaching us and encouraging us to reach out to the One who holds us in the palm of His hands.

I don’t know what you are going through but I know that HE does! And His plan is perfect, and these circumstances are not in Vain. Trust Him and lean on Him, I promise no matter what you won’t be disappointed.

I do not own this song, the lyrics or the music, but wanted to share

How would you know?

A beautiful reminder…..

*I didn’t write this and am unsure who did. But was posted on Facebook and I asked that person if I could share…..

If you never felt pain , then how would you know that I am your HEALER?

If you never went through difficulties, then how would you know that I am your DELIVERER?

If you never had a trial, how could you call yourself an OVER-COMER?

If you never felt sadness then how would you know that I’m a COMFORTER ?

If you never made a mistake, then how would you know that I am FORGIVING ?

If you knew all, then how would you know that I will answer your questions?

If you never were in trouble, then how would you know that I would come to your rescue ?

If you never were broken then how would you know that I can make you whole ?

If you never had a problem, then how would you know that I can solve them?

If I gave you all things then how would you appreciate them ?

If I never corrected you then how would you know that I love you?

If you had all power then how would you learn to depend on me?

If your life was perfect then what would you need me for?

~GOD

This speaks directly to me. I worked last night and came home this morning exhausted and desperately wanting to nap. But due to the current weather here in the south my kiddos had no school. No rest for the weary. 😀 I so wanted to go to church tonight but road conditions are deteriorating. But I am warm and dry with a full belly with a beautiful family. I am blessed! My kids got new masks today to protect them from all the nasty germs out there

Battles and Blessings

This walk, this journey, is full of battles and blessings. My scripture reading for today discussed this topical thoroughly. “When we are in the battle it is hard to believe that it will ever come to an end. When we are in a period of blessing we sometimes expect it to go on forever. But life is not like that. There are battles and blessings.”

Proverbs 1:1-7 gives us wisdom for daily living. Joyce Meyer says, that wisdom “is choosing to do now what you will be happy with later on” Wisdom is the fear of the Lord, wisdom is to respect and honor Him. If we honor Him daily, with reverence, if we seek His wisdom and guidance, we will be blessed by His presence in every aspect of our lives, whether we are in a period of battle or a period of blessing.

Sometimes as a mom of 4 children every day life can feel overwhelming, and like a battle. The days when there is lots of whining, or when kids are sick and feeling terrible, when they are short with one another and not getting along. Or when your to do list seems miles long, and your days to do it are just too short. Today was one of those days for me. We are originally from Massachusetts but since we have moved south we are in a area where snow causes everything to shut down. My kids had school cancelled for today and tomorrow, there isn’t even an inch of snow that fell. And therein lies my problem, my battle….. I have so much to do and now am unable to. The kids are home and I absolutely love having the time with them, to do puzzles and games and play…. but that eradicates any time to do my mile long to do list.

Tonight as I did my little Sassy’s infusion, I was reminded that God is with us in all of lifes battles. Some days my sweet 4year old doesn’t mind those needles and some days I am the meanest mom ever for doing it to her. A little snuggle, a little singing and a little Doc McStuffins made this all better.

Battles are always going to come, but God will prevail throughout it all. Be blessed!!!

Walking

Lets face it, I am a tired mama. I have four kids, I am a nurse who works night shift. I sleep in approximately 4 hour increments. I am tired. I feel like I am on that perpetual hamster wheel….. you run and you run and you run. You get some things accomplished but not necessarily all that you were hoping to. Yesterday my intention was to fold all the laundry, my sweet Sassy decided that she needed a fort, she needed a blankie for her baby. And Bug decided that he needed to snuggle. So the laundry it is still waiting…. and waiting…. and waiting….. My kids went back to school yesterday after Christmas break, and I thought that there might be that down time that I so desperately want. Yeah right! There is always something right? Oh gosh do I love these four. I feel as though I don’t really want to put all their info out there… so my babies will be SS, Beautiful, Bug, and Sassy.

Todays scripture readings discuss walking with God. Walking in close companionship, developing the type of relationship that allows constant contact/conversation with our Creator.

And then there is that thing called exercise. And we all know that we should do it. We all know how important it is. We all know that it would make us feel so much better. But why then is it so hard to get started? What about walking? What if we could plan to meet with our friend every day for 20 minutes and catch up? Vent? Share hopes and dreams with? What if the plan was a 20 minute power walk with a dear friend? God wants to be that dear friend. He wants us to walk with Him in all of our daily life. He wants us to share our hopes and dreams, fears and failures. Noah “walked with God” and he communicated so deeply with Him. “Walking with God” is how we were intended to live. (Micah 6:8) says that we should walk humbly with him. We should be speaking with him like he is our best friend walking right along side us. He wants to be the one to carry our burdens, rejoice in our triumphs, sustain us in our exhaustion. Let’s aim to walk with Him daily, to keep Him close and to speak with Him as our constant companion.