You Define Me

Have you heard this amazing song by Kin Walker Smith? It is such a reminder of who we are in Him…. This 🌎 doesn’t define us, He does. What the doctors are saying? Doesn’t define me! Doesn’t define you! He does….. Let these words wash over you and sink into the depth of who you are…. HE defines you!!!!

I do not own these lyrics….

No whisper can accuse
No rumor can undo
The words You speak, over me
No lie can ever break
No shame can ever steal
The words You speak, over me
You’re speaking over meOnly Your words define me
You tell me who I am
Only Your love can hold me
You make me who I am
You define me, You define meThe author of my days
You’re writing every page
With blood and scars, You heal my heart
Oh, You heal my heartOnly Your words define me
You tell me who I am
Only Your love can hold me
You make me who I am
You define me, You define meNo fear can hold me hostage
No lie can keep me bound
My God has the final word
My God has the final word
No fear can hold me hostage
No lie can keep me bound
My God has the final word
My God has the final wordOnly Your words define me
You tell me who I am
Only Your love can hold me
You make me who I am
Only Your words define me
You tell me who I am
Only Your love can hold me
You make me who I am
You define me, You define me
You define me, You define me
You define me

My God is Bigger!

Things are going so slowly. I am here waiting and believing for a miracle. Waiting for God to give me my strength and sensation back. Waiting for the doctors to come in and be shocked at my God performing this miraculous healing.

I know that all of this will be ok. I know that I am still God’s child, and that He will care for me no matter what. But I want to know that I will walk again, that I will be able to write again, that I will cook, and drive and snuggle with my babies…. I want all of this so much.

But GOD

Guys yesterday I couldn’t move! Left side pointer finger and left side big toe was all I could move if I concentrated super hard and worked hard. BUT GOD!!!! Look at this!!!! I am claiming for a miracle healing overnight! I NEED to be home with my family! My God is able! He can do exceedingly abundantly about all that we ask. And tonight I am watching it happen with my own eyes! I will eventually share more of this week as I wrap my brain around the trauma and emotion and loss of control. Since I couldn’t move I was listening to elevation worship almost continuously except when sick and headache. The song about seeing a victory And God Never failing was basically on repeat …… this guys! This is what My God did this evening! Agree with me pray with me, God can do this!!!!

When we get into these hard places it is so incredibly important to continue to focus on Him, He has already won the battle that we are in. He already knows the outcome, He already has each breath planned out. I know that right now I am hurting, and overwhelmed and a little bit scared. I don’t know how this all plays out. But you know Who does? My God! I know that I know that I know that we will be ok. God will take care of us regardless of how this plays out.

Moving my hand!!!! God is so so good!

FriendS

I am so incredibly grateful for the friends my God has given me. My sweet friend Chantal flew down the night before surgery with the plan that she would take care of me for those first few days at home. Sadly she is at my house and I am here. This is our pre-surgery picture

This is the post that Chantal wrote on Facebook tonight:

Certainly not the week we thought we would have when we took this “pre pic”.
With all this “rain” I know your rainbow 🌈 will be bright and worth it!!!
You have got this and I might not be close still but I am always here!!!! Positive mindset and lots of prayer!!

This girl of mine who has been with me through all of life’s challenges since we were thirteen flew down to be my own personal nurse. Obviously, once they started realizing all the significant deficits that I have post operatively, it was made apparent that I wasn’t headed home as much as I wanted it. This girl came up here and took care of me, washed me, brushed out my hair (dear Lord I am going to need some HELP with my hair), helped me move and repositon, kmade sure was stretching moving and flexing all the things I can’t move on my own. There are no skin issues, no sores, no foot drop…. I was so disappointed that we didn’t get our “girls movie night” at my house. When she left the hospital last night I was still unable to do do just about everything, and she has since said she felt so guilty leaving me. Tonight we faced timed and I showed her my miracle movement, and we ugly cried together. I am praising God for so much tonight.

See a victory

Don’t for one second take your independence or mobility for granted. Waiting for someone to help you move is entirely humbling. I have no idea why this is happening or what this plays out as but I know how the story ends….. and I know that God is using this and will use this for His glory.

Not the way I had planned

Unfortunately I did not head home yesterday as I had hoped. After surgery I began vomiting wind subsequently lost feeling and sensation in my left side. Currently I am I unable to move my left side, unable to sit up unassisted, unable to stand. Surgeon is unsure of what is going on. But my God knows and He is with me in this battle.

Surrounded

We are off! Today is the day of my spinal surgery. I know God’s plans are perfect and that the is battle belongs to Him. This song is incredible! If you haven’t listened to it I highly recommend it becomes your anthem to remind you how to fight your battles. Last night my sweet Paisley asked “will you still be able to hug and hold me after your surgery?” I nearly fell apart with those words. I know that I will but to know that she has that fear hurts my heart.

youtube.com/watch

He writes the Script Every. Single. Day!

So glad and so very thankful that He writes the script….. Each moment of EVERY. SINGLE. DAY! Sometimes our situations get overwhelming and scary, sometimes we don’t like the next step….. But remembering who is the writer of your story takes control of your heart and mind to keep running towards your goal at the end of this life

6 Reasons why you should trust God:

1) He knows you by name Isaiah 43:1

2)He will fight for you Exodus 14:14

3) He thinks about you Psalms 139:17

4) He has plans for you Jeremiah 29:11

5) He is your refuge Psalms 62:6-8

6) He is always with you Matthew 28:20

Not enough…

You have a roof over your head, right?

But it’s not enough. You want something bigger, newer, fancier

You have a job?

But it’s not enough. You want more money, more appreciation. To be better fulfilled.

You’re alive?

But it’s not enough. You want to be thinner? Bigger? Stronger? Prettier? More handsome?

You have a vehicle that gets you from point A to point B?

But it’s not enough. You want newer, fancier, faster.

You have a spouse?

But it’s not enough. You want him/her to love you more. Appreciate you more. Encourage and support you more?

You live in a democracy with more freedom than many people in most of the world.

But it’s not enough. You want a different government. A different set of laws. You want more freedom for things you want, and less freedom for the things others want.

You have the option to hear His Word and learn more about the Lord….

But it’s not enough…. there are too many gossips at the church so you don’t want to go there. You want to sleep in on the weekend. You can’t understand the Bible easily.

You could have no job, no spouse, no home, no children, no car, no food, no freedom to worship. I think sometimes we get caught up with always wanting more. Wanting more blessings. But God is MORE! He has given and blessed us so much, but maybe the things we are struggling with desiring are growing us to a new place. Drawing us closer to Him. Sure it is ok to ask God for things, but are you also thanking Him? Praising Him? He gave you eternity with Him! That is beyond the greatest worldly desire you have.

Guys! We are so so blessed! God has poured into us so much. I myself have struggled these last weeks with the craziness of politics. The uncertainty of the future. And as I became overwhelmed I was reminded… God is more than enough! My salvation? More than enough blessing that I don’t deserve.

More than enough in my home, in my marriage, in the lives of my family and friends.

More than enough in my job, in my friends, in the health of my family.

More than enough in my country. More than enough in the uncertainty of my country. More than enough in the government. More than enough for yesterday, today, and tomorrow. I don’t know what tomorrow holds but I know WHO holds tomorrow. Lean into Him, lean into His Word. He knows each need, each fear, each desire. Let Him in to those places of uncertainty, disappointment, sadness and fear. He wants ALL of it, let Him take it from you, let Him carry you through. He is more than enough! Let Him come to you

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aIdZ5KRiakM&feature=share

#SaveTheBabies

As a child I dreamed of growing up and becoming a nurse, of becoming a mom. In my career as a nurse I have worked in the pediatric population mostly, but have also done labor and delivery, mother baby, nursery and some special care. What a privilege it has been to be a part of the first moments of life on earth. 2020 has taken so much joy out of caring for people. And oh am I tired. But this week as I was feeling defeated with the incredible hatred and selfishness in our world, God gently reminded me that He came for all of us. Even those people that are hurting my soul. He reminded me that I needed to worship through the storm. And so the other morning as I left work I just began to pray and sing at the top of my lungs. Thanking God for allowing me to be here, for the opportunities that I have to love on ALL of God’s people. And throughout the day yesterday I kept hearing that I was created for such a time as this…..

Last night as Judge Amy became Justice Amy I realized again how we are chosen for these days, these moments. That our purpose is great! That His calling on our life is incredible and that we often don’t know where following His lead will take us. I am praying for Justice Amy and her family. For a hedge of protection around her and all her loved ones. That God will use her to change this world for His glory!

Oh my goodness guys! There is nothing more incredible than leading someone to Christ! It is such an amazing privilege. I have been asking God to give me boldness, compassion and wisdom to be able to lead anyone that I come in contact with to Him. Imagine my joy last night when my sweet 7 year old came and asked me to talk to her about it and then asked me to help her ask Jesus into her heart!!!!! Guys! What an amazing gift He gave me last night. Praying the salvation prayer with my sweet PJ! I am just giddy with excitement and joy of knowing that she has chosen Him forever 😍 Joy unspeakable joy!!!!

Thanking God for saving the babies!