Not Enough

I have been struggling a lot here lately. Feeling as though I am not enough. Not enough mom, not enough wife, not enough nurse, not enough friend, not enough follower of Christ, quite simply just NOT ENOUGH. I get in these funks when my kids are sick, or when the bills are overwhelming, or when my friends are hurting and I don’t know what to do, or when I am struggling with my marriage, or with my children.

And I know without a shadow of a doubt that yes, it is true on my own I am not enough, but with God I am more than enough. So often this world has us comparing ourselves, wishing we had what others had. Wondering why our children are sick, or our finances are short, or why our marriage is in such a bad place, or why our jobs aren’t fulfilling us. But in each circumstance God has given us such grace such power such strength such love to get through.

You my friend are enough! You are more than enough! In God you have all you need. Don’t compare yourself. Don’t desire (as hard as it is) for what others have. God has blessed you tremendously!

I had a friend recently tell me “why are you so happy with all that you have going on?” And I got to thinking about it. Why? Because GOD! HE is my reason, He is my reason for life, for love, for joy, for peace, for perseverance, for strength. He is my reason for hope, He is my reason to keep on fighting this fight.

Yes there are days where I can let myself feel so overwhelmed and so defeated, but then God gently and lovingly lifts me up, brushes me off, and holds my hand as we move forward.

My Sam had surgery about a week and a half ago. And the night before surgery I was in a really rough place. I was exhausted and worried. Frustrated and angry. It is easy to get there, when you see your kids have chronic illness, and you wonder about how the surgery will go and how the days after will be….. But God in all His wonder and glory always brings me right back to where I need to be. WITH HIM. I don’t know if you know the singer Laura Story, but if you don’t, I highly recommend her song “Blessings.” The lines of this song meet me right where I am at. Sure sometimes we want to question why things happen and why us. This song speaks to that.

We are loving summer. Loving being home and not quite as much crazy chaos. Loving the extra snuggles. Loving family time and movies. I pray that you are too! Be blessed!!!

Inspired

Have you been inspired to something greater? Do you know what our God has called you to do? Do you get excited when doing His work? So often times we are in a situation where someone approaches us and asks us to help in some ministry, maybe its children’s church or nursery, maybe its ushering, maybe it is secreatarial, maybe it is cleaning, maybe it is advertising, maybe it is outreach….. the list goes on and on.

The thing about it is, I truly believe that God wants us to be joyful in serving. It shouldn’t just be something we feel like we have to do, or that we do to look good or involved. When we are doing His work it should be joyful, it should feel like we are a part of building His kingdom. Yes, there will be times where we are tired and weary, but the day to day serving Him should be joyful. For example I love babies (hence I am a pediatric, nursery and labor and delivery RN)_ if I didn’t like babies/children then probably I shouldn’t be doing children’s ministries within church. Say I was good at building things and designing, those are my talents, those are the things that I should be using to build God’s kingdom. Yesterday I was in the nursery at our church and it was overwhelming. I came out of there discussing with my husband some things that I think would make things work a little better in there. But that is my heart, serving people, so it is easy for me to wrap my brain around that.

Pray about what God has for you. Pray about the ministry that has been created just for you at this time. When God is using you specifically for His purpose mighty things can happen.

I was listening to the church where we used to go up in Massachusetts this weekend. Pastor Dan was preaching about Mary and Martha, and the difference between serving Him and just doing what has to be done. I don’t want to just do the work that has to be done, I want to serve and love my Lord in the process.

Waiting on God in the trials

ave you ever read the whole story of Job? Have you ever really thought about what he went through? All of the suffering? I have recently been reading Job with my bible in one year reading plan. And wow I can’t really wrap my head around it.

People in the past have made comments about praying for healing for my children, or for financial provision or countless other things. My husband and I have recently had a disagreement financially about God’s provision. We tithe as we are supposed to, and he is feeling frustrated as our finances are so precarious. But I feel as though we don’t have to stress about it. Our credit scores, and our bank accounts have no eternal value. We have NEVER EVER EVER needed something that God didn’t provide for us. He always meets the need. We may not understand His answer or His plan, but His plan is much better than anything I could come up with.

My children’s illness has strengthened my faith so much. I certainly wish that they didn’t have to go through all of the struggles that they do. But on the flip side of that, I have really truly met God in my heartbreak and He has really truly supported me in times of need. I can’t say without a doubt that I didn’t have to beg Him for mercy and for healing in the lives of my children that I would fully grasp His incredible love and peace that passes all understanding. And I am not willing to give that up. And as my children have grown up with so many struggles, they too have developed a deeper relationship with the One who has created us. They have faith and they know that God is their friend, not just some unobtainable thing that people talk about it. And that truly is the most important thing ever. So yes I hate the struggles that we face, absolutely, but in those struggles we come face to face with the one who has promised to sustain us, to carry us and to meet us where we are and He does.

Several years ago as I was in Boston Children’s for a lengthy admission with my oldest son I head the song from Laura Story “Blessing.” And wow did that speak to my broken heart. And these day to day things are truly blessings, teaching us and encouraging us to reach out to the One who holds us in the palm of His hands.

I don’t know what you are going through but I know that HE does! And His plan is perfect, and these circumstances are not in Vain. Trust Him and lean on Him, I promise no matter what you won’t be disappointed.

I do not own this song, the lyrics or the music, but wanted to share

Fly like an Eagle

So this is a silly title but I had to write it. I LOVE the NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS. I have been a Pats fan as far back as I can remember. And though I was thoroughly disappointed with the turn out of the superbowl, I am thrilled to see that it was a team of believers that beat us. I love that the Eagles are using this huge platform to share their faith and to allow others to witness it. I was absolutely thrilled as each player came up and said that the glory belonged to God first. So today I want to “Fly like an eagle” And that got me thinking…

We each have a platform that we can use every day every moment every second to bring glory to our God and lead others to Christ. Do you use that platform? Do you take every second that you are blessed with to lead others to Him? Sadly I admit that I don’t, but I surely want to.

My oldest was absolutely reduced to tears with the Patriots loss. And he was so worried about what the kids at school were going to say and how they were going to tease him. My husband and I tried our hardest to encourage him, to support him and to try to remind him that truly it is ONLY A GAME. We shared with him how our actions and our responses to others and to criticism and trials speak volumes about who we are as Christians. He begged to stay home, he didn’t want to be teased. But we made him go, and he realized that his attitude can affect those around him, and by continuing to be a kind kid they left him alone.

We all come across difficult people and situations, difficult family, difficult jobs, difficult teachers difficult coworkers. Our response to each of these situations speaks directly to our relationship with our Father. What does your reaction tell the world about you?

In the eye of the storm….

Not sure if you are familiar with the song “In the eye of the storm” by Ryan Stevenson but if you aren’t familiar you should certainly find it.

The chorus says “In the eye of the storm You remain in control

In the middle of the war, you guide my soul

You alone are the anchor when my sails are torn

Your love surrounds me In the eye of the storm.”

You know in the last couple of weeks there has been so much craziness that it feels as though the weight of the world is on my shoulders if I allow it to be, or I can give it all to Him and let Him carry it all. In my daughters school there is a sign that says “Why carry the weight of the world on your shoulders, when you can allow the one who created it, to carry it all?’ And how true is that?

My husband has injured his leg so he has been unable to travel for his job as he normally does, and is therefore pretty frustrated, as he is not a sit behind a desk kind of worker. While he is home I am working some extra hours to help make ends meet, but working more doesn’t lesson the load of what needs to be done at home. So often times I am just so behind, I feel like I am behind in life.

My heart has been so sad hearing of so many people dying of the flu this year. There have been 11 children so far in my state. It just breaks my heart. And then I am brought to my knees knowing that my sweet immunocompromised kids who could have had terrible complications from the flu, that God strengthened and healed them, as well as protecting the rest of my children and my husband and I from getting it as well. It is just a constant reminder to me as I look at our circumstances how God is with us every step of the way. And I can’t even begin to tell you how amazing it is to hear my little guys singing along to the worship songs on the radio. When my sweet Paisley was singing Amazing Grace the other day, I couldn’t help but thank God that my sweet girl already knows her creator and worships Him.

I know this life can be hard. Let His people minister to you, let His word minister to you. And honestly, for me the quickest way for me to get into His presence is to listen to music and to allow those words to sweep over me and soothe those areas that are raw and hurting from the weight of this world. Know that He knows, He hears, He sees, and He cares. Don’t let your struggle affect what you KNOW about Him.

Be blessed!!!!

How would you know?

A beautiful reminder…..

*I didn’t write this and am unsure who did. But was posted on Facebook and I asked that person if I could share…..

If you never felt pain , then how would you know that I am your HEALER?

If you never went through difficulties, then how would you know that I am your DELIVERER?

If you never had a trial, how could you call yourself an OVER-COMER?

If you never felt sadness then how would you know that I’m a COMFORTER ?

If you never made a mistake, then how would you know that I am FORGIVING ?

If you knew all, then how would you know that I will answer your questions?

If you never were in trouble, then how would you know that I would come to your rescue ?

If you never were broken then how would you know that I can make you whole ?

If you never had a problem, then how would you know that I can solve them?

If I gave you all things then how would you appreciate them ?

If I never corrected you then how would you know that I love you?

If you had all power then how would you learn to depend on me?

If your life was perfect then what would you need me for?

~GOD

This speaks directly to me. I worked last night and came home this morning exhausted and desperately wanting to nap. But due to the current weather here in the south my kiddos had no school. No rest for the weary. 😀 I so wanted to go to church tonight but road conditions are deteriorating. But I am warm and dry with a full belly with a beautiful family. I am blessed! My kids got new masks today to protect them from all the nasty germs out there

Battles and Blessings

This walk, this journey, is full of battles and blessings. My scripture reading for today discussed this topical thoroughly. “When we are in the battle it is hard to believe that it will ever come to an end. When we are in a period of blessing we sometimes expect it to go on forever. But life is not like that. There are battles and blessings.”

Proverbs 1:1-7 gives us wisdom for daily living. Joyce Meyer says, that wisdom “is choosing to do now what you will be happy with later on” Wisdom is the fear of the Lord, wisdom is to respect and honor Him. If we honor Him daily, with reverence, if we seek His wisdom and guidance, we will be blessed by His presence in every aspect of our lives, whether we are in a period of battle or a period of blessing.

Sometimes as a mom of 4 children every day life can feel overwhelming, and like a battle. The days when there is lots of whining, or when kids are sick and feeling terrible, when they are short with one another and not getting along. Or when your to do list seems miles long, and your days to do it are just too short. Today was one of those days for me. We are originally from Massachusetts but since we have moved south we are in a area where snow causes everything to shut down. My kids had school cancelled for today and tomorrow, there isn’t even an inch of snow that fell. And therein lies my problem, my battle….. I have so much to do and now am unable to. The kids are home and I absolutely love having the time with them, to do puzzles and games and play…. but that eradicates any time to do my mile long to do list.

Tonight as I did my little Sassy’s infusion, I was reminded that God is with us in all of lifes battles. Some days my sweet 4year old doesn’t mind those needles and some days I am the meanest mom ever for doing it to her. A little snuggle, a little singing and a little Doc McStuffins made this all better.

Battles are always going to come, but God will prevail throughout it all. Be blessed!!!