“You’re a threat”

Today I had a follow up with my surgeon and we reviewed all the things that have occurred since my last visit with him. Today seemed to be the very first time that he wasn’t hopeful in terms of a full recovery for me. When I asked him what his thoughts were about me returning to work at the hospital like I had been, his response was incredibly discouraging. He said “ I’m not going to say never, but it is very unlikely, and if it does happen it won’t be for a long time.

I left the appointment in a daze. Sure there had been many people in this journey of healing that said they questioned whether I would get better enough to go back to bedside nursing, but the surgeon never made me feel like I wouldn’t eventually get back to the hospital. Today really was hard.

I called a sweet friend and shared my news. I shared with her my feelings of how I believe that God had called and created me to be a nurse. That He has called me to love and care for others, that I am supposed to physically show people His love. I told her that I felt as though I had lost my purpose.

She gently loved and encouraged me. She told me that I was a threat to the devils plan, so the devil has put this roadblock in my path. But that God always wins and that my steps may have changed, but His plan hadn’t.

I don’t know where your at in your life, but I just wanted to say, that no matter what the world has to say to or about you in your journey, God’s plans won’t fail. He will create something beautiful out of your situation. You, are a threat to the devil, so he puts up roadblocks in your path, but it doesn’t change Who is the victor!!!! You keep walking the path that the Lord has for you, it may be hard, you may not understand but it doesn’t change who He is, and what His plan is for you.

#SaveTheBabies

As a child I dreamed of growing up and becoming a nurse, of becoming a mom. In my career as a nurse I have worked in the pediatric population mostly, but have also done labor and delivery, mother baby, nursery and some special care. What a privilege it has been to be a part of the first moments of life on earth. 2020 has taken so much joy out of caring for people. And oh am I tired. But this week as I was feeling defeated with the incredible hatred and selfishness in our world, God gently reminded me that He came for all of us. Even those people that are hurting my soul. He reminded me that I needed to worship through the storm. And so the other morning as I left work I just began to pray and sing at the top of my lungs. Thanking God for allowing me to be here, for the opportunities that I have to love on ALL of God’s people. And throughout the day yesterday I kept hearing that I was created for such a time as this…..

Last night as Judge Amy became Justice Amy I realized again how we are chosen for these days, these moments. That our purpose is great! That His calling on our life is incredible and that we often don’t know where following His lead will take us. I am praying for Justice Amy and her family. For a hedge of protection around her and all her loved ones. That God will use her to change this world for His glory!

Oh my goodness guys! There is nothing more incredible than leading someone to Christ! It is such an amazing privilege. I have been asking God to give me boldness, compassion and wisdom to be able to lead anyone that I come in contact with to Him. Imagine my joy last night when my sweet 7 year old came and asked me to talk to her about it and then asked me to help her ask Jesus into her heart!!!!! Guys! What an amazing gift He gave me last night. Praying the salvation prayer with my sweet PJ! I am just giddy with excitement and joy of knowing that she has chosen Him forever 😍 Joy unspeakable joy!!!!

Thanking God for saving the babies!

This sweet baby gave her heart to Jesus last night

Preparing for Hurricane Florence

We are in the projected path of this monstrous storm. And strangely I am not stressing. I know just as with so many other situations that God has got this. Yesterday an elementary school out in Wayne county posted a video to facebook of the students singing “In the eye of the storm” What an incredible reminder that God is faithful no matter what. The Carolina’s are most likely going to get hit hard. But God remains in control always. I am sad that I will have to leave my babies until it is safe to travel again. That is the one thing that stinks about being an important part of the system of caring for others. In the midst of situations where you want to be with your family you HAVE TO LEAVE THEM. I hate that part. Last night we all snuggled on the couch and watched a movie together. I am not sure when I will come back home, and I am sad knowing that most likely they will have no power and will be scared and I won’t be able to help Matt with them. But regardless I know I am needed at the hospital and that God will keep us all safe in His hand! Be praying for us, for the Carolina’s and for VA. And anywhere else this crazy storm is going to go.

The working mom struggle

As a nurse I am fortunate to not have to work 5 or more days a week. But unfortunately that also means that my days are 14 plus hours….. I got up this morning at 04:15 and didn’t get home until 8:30pm. If tonight was a school night I wouldn’t have gotten to see my babies today. It breaks my heart. I hate being away from my babies but I love caring for others.

It is so hard. I feel that God has called me to be a nurse and I truly feel blessed to have the opportunity to compassionately care for his children. But then I am feeling guilty because I am paying someone else to care for my own babies😔 Do you feel that way? Blessed to have a calling? But struggling with guilt over other parts of your life?