Sweet Sophia

My sweet girl has had such a terrible few months.  She has now had strep six times since September.  Her time at middle school has been a challenge due to all this illness.  We finally got her tonsils out this month and she has had quite the time recovering from that as well.  We spent a few days in the hospital after the tonsillectomy due to dehydration and weight loss,  and it was during that period that we are finally starting to look into her being immunocompromised like her siblings.  I don’t know why it is hurting me so much to start saying that out loud.  I don’t know why it seems so overwhelming and scary.  I know this role, I know how to navigate having sick kiddos, but for some reason with her it just feels like too much.  And don’t get me wrong, we don’t have any definitive answers that she is, or isn’t but it is just feeling more and more like she is.  And I am so sad for her.  So sad for what that entails.  So sad that another one of my babies may have such a rough road.  Sometimes I feel guilty, like I did something that caused this.