It’s about the Cross

Merry Merry Christmas! Prayers that you have had a blessed day with your family. As a nurse I have worked many Christmas’, but this year I was off until tonight so I was able to enjoy our birthday party for Jesus last night, a Christmas Eve service as well as waking up with my family this morning. I so enjoy the kids excitement for all things Christmas. My kiddos get all excited about Jesus’ birthday cake, reading the Christmas story (I love Christmas books, and so every year I try to buy a new book that is about Jesus’s birth and then we read them throughout the month of December) as well as the actual story of His birth in the Bible. I love the traditions that my family began, I love that my kids know it is Jesus’ birthday first. Tonight I head back to the hospital for work…..

In years past there have been times when we needed help for Christmas, when I couldn’t do what I wanted to for my kids. There have been times where I was so sad that I couldn’t get that one special thing that one of them wanted. This year, was very different for us in the fact the kids were very specific about their desires for Christmas. They actually didn’t ask for tons of stuff, and just had a couple very specific things. I know this is probably a touchy subject, but we never made santa a big deal in our house. We have always said that it was Jesus’s birthday but that we get the kids some presents. I don’t believe Sam and Sophia ever really even thought about Santa. And now with Preston and Paisley things are totally different. And even though we have never promoted Santa, never told them that he was coming, the world has told them that he was. And in that it has brought a different sense of Christmas in our house. Preston and Paisley realize that their gifts are from us…… but they also wanted to leave out cookies and milk for Santa, and we let them. It felt very strange to me…… but they had a blast with the thought of it. And they still know that it was Jesus’ birthday today.

We had a Christmas musical at our church this past sunday. I am so proud of my children. I will share the link for the service from YouTube. Samuel did an instrumental solo playing my grandfather’s over 100 year old trumpet! He is very hard on himself and doesn’t feel he did a good job, but I think he did amazing! Sophia has been feeling sick for several weeks, and hasn’t actually been practicing her song with the choir, but she blew me away with how wonderful she did singing her solo “Mary did you know?”. Their musical talent is truly a God given gift, and I am so thankful that I get to enjoy it. My sweet Preston was Joseph, and Paisley was a Wiseman. The cool thing about this musical was that Santa actually came…. So the amazing thing was that Santa told the story of Jesus, and at the end he bowed to Jesus…… It was certainly an interesting spin on it, but I think it was cool to point out that all will bow to our KING of KINGS.

Have you heard the song “It’s about the cross” by the Ball Brothers? This song wow! This season is so crazy, the hustle and bustle and visiting and planning and prepping….. When you think of the manger do you also think of the cross? Do you think of His whole life here on earth? Do you think of what His birth did for us? Do you think about the fact that without the manger there would be no cross? Do you think of where you would be without the gift of Jesus?

This year there were so many around us that were going through some painful things, the loss of parents, the loss of a job, or finances, or health. A dear friend of mine is constantly approached by members of the community when there is a family in need. The needs were so great this year. Even just for basics. A 6 year old child with holes in her shoes and her toes sticking out, a family whose entire house burned to the ground, and only the people got out, not their pets, nor anything else, and several more families that were really struggling this year. People we know were struggling with severe illness as well. This year it has felt like the devil really is upping his anti and fighting harder against God’s people. I am so thankful to be surrounded by people who love and serve God however they are called. I am thankful that I was able to help some struggling families, and thankful that it isn’t necessarily financial needs that are always needed, and that God uses whatever we can offer to help others. Helping/giving is the best!

Merry Christmas again! May you be surrounded by His love, your family, and wonderful happy memories of this Christmas and those in the past.

Off to work I go

A little humor

So today I was sitting in my room JUST STARTING to wrap Christmas presents 😳😳and doing some updates for our insurance when I get a text message from my neighbor saying “hey are you guys okay? I see that the fire department just got there”

So I jump up and run to the front door wondering what in the world? And sure enough two firemen are coming up on the front porch…. UPS had delivered our package to the fire department and they were hand delivering it to us! Can you believe it? There’s some community service for you!!!

Guys can I ask for your prayers for my sweet Sophia? She has been sick since the 8th of December or so. We have been to the doctors office three times as well as the ER once. They ruled out appendicitis yesterday but this poor sweet girl is feeling so bad…. she even snuggle with me today laying on top of me on the couch…. definitely not comfortable but I am happy that it brought comfort to her.

Sophia has really been having a rough go of it this year in her first year of middle school. She has had strep three times since September and now has whatever this crazy illness is, the doc says he believes numerous viruses, but he believes mono and adenovirus. Just pray for her please.

Hey weary Momma, this is for you

Hey you! I see you! Are you weary like me? This week with sick kids, and ER and doctors visits, work and preparing for Christmas I am so weary. Are you a momma who’s child woke you up because they were sick? Because they were afraid? Because they wanted to nurse? Because they wanted to snuggle? Are you a momma who woke in the night with an unsettled mind and you needed to get on your knees and pray to clear your mind so you could rest? Are you overwhelmed with your to do list? With the expectations that your kids put on you? With the expectations that others put on you?

I see you! You weary mommas I see you. These kiddos? They always have so many needs, don’t they? And boy can it get exhausting doesn’t it? I know, I am so weary too….

But then His Word comes as a reminder….

Some days I wake up so tired I don’t even want to get up, I don’t even know how I can do one more thing…. those days when you forget to shower your kiddos, you give them cereal for dinner, they wear dirty socks, you forget to sign their homework sheet? And you feel so guilty you hold all that guilt and weariness in until you can’t possibly carry it anymore….

When you finally come to His feet, it’s ugly and the tears flow…. when you hide in your shower and you give your weariness to Him, your tears wash away the hurt of your weary soul. Jesus calls us to Himself! He wants to carry this burden for us! He is our strength when we are weary, He is our peace when we are scared, He is our amazing grace, when we feel like we have failed our families, He is our hope for tomorrow.

God’s got you! Persevere! Your Jesus is with you in this trial

Ladies, give your hurts, your burdens, your fears to Him! He loves you! He wants you to walk in Him! Don’t carry this load all by yourself! You don’t have to! In Jesus, we have rest for our weary Momma’s heart!

The Rock won’t move…

And His word is strong! Have you heard that song? And now I am listening to king of my heArt…… “you’re never gonna let, never gonna let me down….” I am listening to the Vertical Worship Station on iHeartRadio. Knowing and believing that no matter what today brings Gods word remains. His love remains. His strength His hope His peace remains. Today prayerfully we won’t get any news, because no news means there isn’t terrible news.

youtu.be/VbBQ94PZEkE

Standing on His Promises

SO….. there has been something on my mind and on my heart about my sweet little Paisley. When the kids were diagnosed with their immune deficiency the doctors told me that they had a much increased risk of cancer. And I was so overwhelmed with that so many years ago. But in my secret times with God, He has always reminded me that HE HAS GOT IT! And I have stood on that promise for ever.

But I am not going to lie, tonight the devil is messing with me. Over the summer Paisley began complaining of headaches. I initially blew it off thinking that it was no big deal, thinking that it was the late fun nights of summer, the time away from home, and just generalized business, and then I thought maybe she needed glasses, that she had eyes like Sam and I and would need glasses. After the summer and things have slowed down and got more on a routine, she was telling her pediatrician about them at her physical last month, her eyesight was fine. And the pediatrician got worried about it and said that she needed an mri of her brain to make sure there wasn’t anything like a tumor…… So we waited for the insurance approval and now she will be having the test tomorrow. This week she has become sleepier than normal. It is so unlike her to be sleepy.

So here I am knowing that God is control no matter what the outcome of tomorrow. Knowing that a clear MRI or one that has something abnormal, doesn’t change the fact that GOD is GOD, and He truly will carry us through. Knowing that the God of the universe has my baby in His hands, is so comforting. But please be praying for her, for her doctors and for me as we get through tomorrow. Pray that He will continue to give me whatever it is I need to walk through tomorrow and the days to come. My prayer is that tomorrow there is nothing abnormal and that she unfortunately would just be prone to headaches. But if there is something abnormal MY GOD HAS GOT IT!

Do you Remember???

Do you remember where you were on 9/11/01? Do you remember what you were wearing? Who you were with? What you were doing? I remember it vividly. I was in nursing school preparing for one of my first exams that morning. I remember we got the notification as soon as our exam was finished. I remember hearing my class mates wailing, weeping, and hysterical as we watched the news. I remember them saying over and over which family member or friend worked in the twin towers….

But more than that I remember the days that followed, the days of incredible sadness as we learned the horrific unimaginable loss that we had experienced. I remember the stories of the heros of that day. The stories of the first responders and the American citizens who did whatever they could to help. I remember the way our country united. I remember driving down the streets and seeing American flags flying everywhere as tears rolled down my cheeks. I remember the songs that were played on the radio, I remember how the national anthem began to get played on many radio stations every day at a specific time, and how I would change the station just so I could hear it.

I remember the solidarity of sports teams, and celebrities, who were coming together for the good of our country. I remember that politics, economic status, education, race, NONE of it mattered. All that mattered was that we were AMERICANS, and that we were strong and that we would get through this.

As I remember that day I am thinking about the countless families that were shattered, without notice, without warning, without a chance to say good bye. And it makes me think….. What if today is my last day? What if it is your last day?

Have we accomplished what God created us to do? Have we impacted the world for HIS GLORY? Have we been the hands and feet of Christ to a dying world? Have we allowed the world to see Jesus’ love through us?

Have we left things unsaid? Not forgiven those that hurt us? Have we held grudges for so long we don’t know what was even the beginning of the problem? Have we judged others when we are not to judge, only God is? Have we told the ones that we love that we love them and appreciate them? Have we appreciated our friends and family for the incredible gifts that they are? Have we thanked God for His provision in our lives?

Today as I ponder 9/11/01 and the way it changed the world, I also am reminded of the love that God poured out on me that day and all the days since. I am reminded that He has called me, to share that love with others and that we are not promised another minute on this earth outside of His plan. Are you ready? Are you fulfilling His calling on your life? Knowing that today could be the last chance you have?

1 PETER 3:15 But in your hearts revere Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect.

Family

I was blessed to grow up in a large family. My mom has 7 siblings, 6 brothers and 1 sister. I have 19 first cousins, many of whom are married and have children of their own. We are spread around the world and it isn’t too often that we get together. We were so blessed this year, by two of my uncles who organized the family reunion. We were all staying at different resorts, but they were in close proximity to one another. We had such a great week. I remember as a child playing with all my cousins and making so many memories. I am so glad that my children are beginning to build those friendships with their cousins. SO MUCH FUN!

Wow God

I literally have no words to explain how God has been so good to us. You know when the devil starts messing with you and God shows up bigger? That has been the story of my life…… A brief synopsis of our situation….

WE bought the new house which needed TONS of work. We needed to be out of the rental house by this coming saturday the 1st. My husband realized this weekend that he wasn’t going to be able to finish all the work that needed to be done in the house. I put out a request asking for help. I heard from Jessica on sunday night that her and another friend from church would be coming to the new house on monday and that they would complete the painting. Yesterday morning, Jessica called me and said that I could bring Preston and Paisley to another church members home and that she would watch them for the day. As I was dropping the kids off I received a call from Jessica again stating that another couple from our church were headed to my old house to help me pack. Once I got back home I learned that that couple had brought their daughters with them to also help! We loaded their truck and then drove to the new house. While unloading at the new house, Jessica let me know that there were more people coming to help….

Long story short, more than 20 people helped throughout the entire day yesterday. They packed and loaded and unloaded I think 7 trucks and trailers. I am so blown away and humbled by all of it. There were people that helped that didn’t even know us. Our church (and all of God’s people) were totally the hands and feet of Jesus to my family. Our church family has organized someone to come power wash the house as well as has hired someone to come finish the painting that we haven’t finished yet. People helped unpack things, set up beds etc etc….

The devil has tried to have his way in all of this blessing too…… on sunday night the air conditioning in the new house stopped working (did I mention that it is HOT here right now? 100 degrees today, and high 90s for the next week), my van died three times (I have never had one issue with my van EVER), and then last night the refrigerator in the new house broke! But God is resolving each issue in His time, and His answer is way better than mine. The refrigerator repair man is coming tomorrow so we will see what he says……

I feel like sometimes I sound like a broken record but all I can say is WOW GOD! He is just so good. Our circumstances can sometimes be overwhelming and daunting, sometimes it is hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel, but God has it all in His hands, no matter what the world throws our way HE HAS GOT IT

Isaiah 41:10 “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”

AMAZED

I literally am blown away right now. I can’t even begin to explain to you how God has shown up over and over again here lately. It has felt like Satan has been attacking our family and friends nearly continuously in the last few weeks. There has been illnesses, financial crisis, family crisis, housing issues, job issues, school issues and so many things.

And all I can say is WOW BUT GOD….. in every situation. We were told that we needed to get out of our rental house, and there literally was a major issue with our credit, it is hard to stay on top of the medical bills when there are thousands upon thousands of dollars……. and then my credit score went up more than a 100 points.

There was NOTHING in our area that would allow our kids to remain in the same school system that they are currently in, that was within our price range….. And then a house that Matt had been interested in a while back, that had a pending offer on it, fell through and came back on the market……

Matt’s dad had the “widowmaker” heart attack! But God miraculously saved him. He spent nearly a week in the ICU, but is now home and recovering. My husband was able to be up there for the last week and support his parents, and his brother Tim was able to get there too….

While Matt has been gone over the last week Sam began running a fever of up to 105.7 and was diagnosed with flu. As you can imagine caring for four HEALTHY kids would be a challenge without a spouse, but sick kids, while working?. But God provided aunts, grandparents, friends etc to help through all of this.

With Matt being gone, I was concerned with inspection and things at the house we are interested in….. two wonderful men came out to the house we are buying and went along with the inspector, as well as measured rooms and commited to helping get the physical work done that needs to be done in the new house.

I literally have been overwhelmed, and exhausted. Wishing I could be with my father in law and lay my eyes on him and kiss his face, wishing that I could be physically helping him but being unable…… Working extra shifts, and sleeping less trying to be a single parent while Matt is gone, dealing with all of the illness, dealing with house showings for the current house we are in. Dealing with friends and family that are going through crisis…… I have been feeling like I got run over by a truck. But literally God is carrying me through. And wow is he sending HIS people to help me during this time.

I can’t share all the details but God has made provisions for us financially that are truly miraculous. I find myself shaking my head, as I think about how He has blessed us in this last month. Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely wish that the medical debt would miraculously disappear, but for now my God has opened the door to a brand new start. There has been an incredible fundraiser hosted by our church, and a loan that we never could have dreamed we would have gotten, and a gift that has brought me to tears, to help with the closing costs.

And then there is all of the childcare assistance. Not only has our sitter been willing to care for our kids during normal circumstances, she has also come when they have had the flu, when we needed her overnight, when we needed them transported somewhere etc. These lovely ladies are such a blessing. And then we have had numerous friends that have helped care for the kids. This weekend I am working all weekend and Matt will remain in massaschusetts with his parents. And the village that God has given me is loving on my kids all weekend while I am working. They are all looking forward to sleep overs and fun all weekend.

This last week has been incredibly hard, but also such an eye opening experience, God has shown up EVERYWHERE! If you are struggling know He is there, and though the struggles come, sometimes mountains of them, take a step back and look at all He has done in the process. BE BLESSED. Know that He is walking right along side you, and when you get to the point where you feel as though you cannot possibly take another step, it is then that He shows you His glorious provision in every aspect of your life

The weight of the world

I will be honest, today I am struggling very much. I really do try to stay positive and continuously remind myself that “God’s got this” in every scenario of my life. But today the devil is messing with me. I know without a doubt that God truly does have all that is going on in control…..but today I am overwhelmed and sad. Today I am nervous and worried. Today I am exhausted and feeling like I am crumbling under it all. So much is going on and so many huge changes need to occur in our lives. And then add in the questionable chicken pox in our house with three immunocompromised kids and a babysitter who we have relied on heavily since 2015 giving her notice that she will no longer keep watching my kids effective immediately… too much.

Last night I didn’t sleep at all. So upset. And I tried so hard to pray and to listen to worship music. But the devil was meeting me at every turn. The piece of the song that sticks in my head so strongly…. “though the darkness may last through the night His joy comes in the morning”. I know that this too shall pass and that God truly does have all of this in His hands, but if you would? Please pray

for our family. For health, for a new place to live, for our finances and job situations, for childcare crisis to be resolved, and for Godly wisdom in each major decision that has to be made.