If your like me, you felt called by God to be a mom, you know the importance of the job that you have, and you know the significance of doing it the way God has called us to do it.  But in this world, there is so much compairing, judging and self help books it is hard to hear His guidance over what the world says.  So many of us read “what to expect when your expencting”, what to expect the 1st year…toddler years….etc.  We’ve researched the best way to feed our babies, and teach our children, how to potty train and discipline.  We’ve researched how to teach them to be kind and respectful and obedient.  We have tried to teach them by example, we have tried to correct the bad behaviors. 

I am guilty of reading some parenting books, of asking my Godly friends who have children older than mine how they did certain things…. but you know what?  The more we are in HIS WORD the more guidance He will give us.  We can’t be “cookie cutter parents”, we can’t buy a book from the store that says how to parent, and expect that it is the end all be all of parenting, it isn’t going to fit every quirk, every temperament, every personality that is your child.  Don’t get me wrong I am sure that you have some amazing people in your life that can give you AMAZING parenting advice, but you know where the end all be all of parenting advice comes from?  HIS WORD! The Bible is full of absolutely everything that we need and so much more.  But beyond that, the more we are in His Word the more we converse with Him, the more we learn and react the way He would want us to. 

I may not be able to find: what to do when my kid is having a temper tantrum in the BIBLE per se, but as I am in the Word He will give me the guidance that I need to take care of each situation I encounter.

I have been continuing to listen to Heidi St. John’s podcast, and am so saddened by all the craziness that is going on within our schools.  She shared this week about schools out in Washington that are voting to change their sex ed classes for kids to some really crazy stuff, stuff that will be teaching our children that they are wrong for thinking that there are men and women and that they cannot be changed, that sex is good and they should just use condoms,  what the draw backs of abstinence are, etc etc etc.  Be praying folks! Our values are being blasted away from our kids, the activists are trying to indoctrinate all kinds of non-Christian beliefs into our kids, trying to make our kids believe that their Christian values are wrong.  As Heidi St.  John would say  “Get off the bench!” We have to fight for our kids, fight for their future, fight to keep our children safe from that craziness of this world.     As I am reading Heidi’s book “Becoming Mom Strong How to fight with all that’s in you for your family and your faith.” this is something she has written in her book:  “we as parents are surrounded by lies too.  We’re being told that unborn babies have no right to life.  We’re being told that marriage between a man and a man or between a woman and a woman is not only okay, it’s to be celebrated.  Deception and unbiblical thinking have become so commonplace that we’re afraid to even speak the truth for fear of being discriminated against or being labeled “intolerant”.” 

Tonight at church our pastor was teaching from the Lord’s prayer. His focus lately has been to teach us how to pray. And you know over the years as a Christian we have heard so many sermons about prayer and how to do it. And even had teachings in regards to the Lord’s prayer before. But today I have really started thinking about my life and my prayer life.

I write the following to share my testimony but also to share the change of mindset that I had in relation to my prayers when I was praying for my children. This is my testimony as a mom….My first pregnancy occurred nearly four years after I had gotten married. My husband and I had planned on waiting a full five years before we got pregnant but God had a different plan for us. We were just so excited, and overwhelmed. I had felt like God had created me soley to be a mom and I couldn’t wait to hold that precious child in my arms. But then God decided to take him home. That miscarriage? That loss? Was some of the hardest things I have ever walked through, questioning God. Questioning myself, wondering if there was something that I did wrong or should have done….. I was so sad and so lonely. I didn’t know who I was supposed to be then. But by His grace three months later we got pregnant again. And I was terrified, from the moment the pregnancy began. Throughout the whole pregnancy there was complication after complication, doctors telling me that the child wouldn’t be born alive and that I needed to prepare myself. Up to that point we weren’t sure whether the baby was a boy or girl and so we found out because we needed to name our child. And so we began searching for names, names that had meanings, names that spoke about God and his wonder. And so our child was named Samuel Lee, and depending on where you get the definition from you will learn that his name means: Shelter from the storm and God has heard……

And God did hear us! And our sweet boy was brought into this world with again so many complications. But God was able to use that situation and many since. I was the typical mom that prayed for a healthy baby, that didn’t care whether it was a boy or a girl. And then I had unhealthy children, children that were born prematurely, children that I didn’t get to bring home with me when I was discharged from the hospital. Children who the doctors struggled to care for. But does any of that change who God is? NOPE!

I remember vividly sitting in a hospital room in the middle of the night weeping and hysterical because my baby was so sick, I remeber saying to God “I don’t know what to do? What am I supposed to do?” And God said “Hey I’ve got this!” It was literally an audible conversation that I had with Him that night. And in that moment He showed me that He had my sweet babies in His hand.

So here I am, a mom of three immunocompromised kids. Kids who don’t respond to illness the way “they are suppposed to” according to doctors. But I am always brought back to that moment, when I was begging God for the health of my child, and He met me there to say that “I’ve got this.” And so now when things get crazy and the doctor’s are concerned, I don’t freak out anymore, for the most part. Because when I am praying for His will in our lives, I know that He truly does have it all in His hand,

I wish I could adequately describe what this journey has looked like for me. And how drastically my life changed once I truly allowed God to handle our lives. So often people will say things like “I don’t know how you do it? How you keep it all straight? How you don’t freak out with all the medical unknowns?” And I will be honest I struggle with how to answer it to share where my heart is. God is so good, and so amazing, and when others are in panic mode He gives me this unbelievable peace, peace that is truly only from Him. The world looks at you sometimes and truly thinks you are crazy with how you respond but in all actuality He is responding for me. Do you have any idea how freeing it is, to be in the midst of another scary medical diagnosis, and to be able to say “Hey God take this too, I can’t handle it.” And then you step back and watch Him work. I remember a little over a year ago my oldest was literally coughing up blood, and everyone at the hospital was saying you need to get him hear now and be prepared to call 911 if he gets worse on your drive (we live far away from my sons bleeding disorder docs). I remember my pastor calling me, and praying with me on the phone, but I also remember that I wasn’t panicked I wasn’t afraid, becuase I knew that God had it.

If you are struggling in a situation in your life, I just pray that you just keep giving it to God, and letting Him know that you are wanting HIS WILL in that situation, and that you then allow Him to do the work. I am not promising that it will be easy, and gosh I can promise that sometimes are devastatingly difficult, but what I can tell you is that HE wants to carry your burden, he wants to carry your sadness and fear. He wants to give you the strength to face tomorrow. This life? It’s hard, but its so beautiful. I often am reminded of the song from Laura Story called “Blessings” and the line that speaks about how some of the trials we face are “blessings in disguise.” I believe that so much, although my prayer for healthy children was not answered the way I would have wanted, now that we are walking this path, I can see the beauty in the path that He chosen for us. The path that allows each of us to come to Him in humble humility knowing that WE can’t do any of it without Him. Sure I would love to not have thousands of dollars of medical equipment in my home, sure I would love to not have weekly infusions, or a nurse who comes to the house for infusions, or so many specialists and appointments that I struggle keeping my life straight, or kids that are so exhausted and get sick so easily. But you know what His answer to my prayers has created? A mom who fully rely’s on God in all situations, a mom who knows that even if I don’t have the words to pray God hears my heart and He will answer in His will, a mom who has seen so many times God move mountains in our path, a Mom who can share how amazing He is with the world. But even more amazing than that? My kids KNOW HIM!!!! When I look back in the back of my van and I see hands raised in worship, and eyes closed in prayer? I wouldn’t change a thing…..Because at the end of this life, the ONLY THING THAT MATTERS IS KNOWING AND SERVING HIM!

So no matter where you are at. No matter what your struggle is, if you can just literally let it go and let Him work it to HIS WILL not yours. You will be amazed at what happens.